Yesterday, I pen’ed an article basically as an outcry for how bored I was while waiting for the Philadelphia Flyers season to start. It was well received.

So now, in my duty as a public servant to you all as a writer for the holiness of High & Wide Hockey, I have decided to put my brain to the test and do some heavy duty thinking (tread lightly, I will not apologize for anything you are about to read).

As you can judge by the title of this article, I am composing a list of things you can do before the Flyers season starts so you can prevent have several nervous breakdowns like myself.

So to prevent this from being any form of click-bait, I will follow through on my promise and deliver. Think of me as Moses leading you to the land of milk and honey but on a less-signifiant scale (only slightly less significant).

*Clears throat* aaaaaand begin:

1. Make as many different line combinations as you can

Disclaimer: No matter what you jot down now…no matter where you put Oskar Lindblom in your lineup…no matter if you hate Rasmus Ristolainen so much and put him as the 7th D. I can guarantee two things.

1. Your lines will not be accurate.
2. Even if they are accurate to start, they will be changed by the 2nd period during the first game of the season because that’s how ‘bad boy AV’ rolls.

With that being said, making line combinations is fun, go crazy! Just don’t go out of your way to critically judge other people’s lines because chances are, you are both going to be wrong.

2. Ferociously and aggressively review your work schedule and compare it to the Flyers season schedule so you can let your boss know in advance the days you need to leave early in order to catch the Septa to head down to Xfinity Live.

This one is serious (Alexa, please play Train’s “Calling All Angels”).

Warriors, that is what you are.

The one’s who plan ahead early. The one’s who sacrifice themselves professionally in order to help the greater good (or themselves).

For those that don’t plan ahead, I have news for you. Imagine it’s 6pm and you’re stuck at the office. You are in your own little cubicle (or as that wise-ass in the office refers to it “your little slice of heaven” (you aren’t funny, Marty).

Then suddenly, your phone rings. All of your friends are screaming, having a great time, chugging brews with fellow Flyers fans at Xfinity Live and you’re stuck making cold calls to people who simply do not want your business. Do the math (or actually, don’t. Skip the math and go hang out with your friends).

Plan ahead. You’ll thank me later.

3. Watch Joel Farabee highlights

I mean, this one is pretty self-explanatory. Try not having a good time while watching 86 light the lamp like a mini-Simon Gagne. Trust me, you’ll have fun. Look at his motor. His drive. His intensity. His heart. The honest face of a man who will commit a crime in order to score a goal for his team. That is, Joel Farabee.

4. Convince yourself that Carter Hart, Oskar Lindblom, and Travis Sanheim will have bounce-back years

This one shouldn’t be hard to convince yourself. It’s so much easier to be skeptical than it is to try and be optimistic. I mean really…what are the benefits from being miserable? So you can say “I was right”? No, because everyone will hate you. Unless you like that kind of thing. Whatever gets you off I suppose.

It should honestly be a relief that you also don’t have to add guys like Phil Myers or Nolan Patrick to this list. You know why? because THEY GONE.

But in all honesty, Oskar Lindblom finally had a full offseason to train to get most, if not, all of his strength back prior to his diagnosis. My prediction? Oskar finds a way to twine 18-20 goals this season.

I have a love/hate relationship with Travis Sanheim. Mostly love. We all have seen what he can do and hopefully with a different defense partner he’ll be able to piece things together because well…time is running out for him. My hope? Sanny, just keep the puck out of the net.

As for CAHTAH HAHT!? I am not even the slightest bit concerned. I am unfazed. All of you negative doubters out there will not get to me when it comes to Carter Hart. I think with a better defense in front of him, Carter Hart will be fantastic this season. My prediction? A .915 sv% and a 2.35 GAA. An honest bounce back season is all we need.

5. Treat Yourself. Buy a new sweater or “shirsey” of your new favorite Flyers offseason addition

I already have dibs on a Keith Yandle #3…I know a guy.

Honestly though, with all of these new and exciting additions for the Flyers there will be a lot of new fan favorites this season. How can you not be completely excited out of your skull? Ryan Ellis, Keith Yandle, Rasmus Ristolainen, Cam Atkinson, Derick Brassard and bel-prize winning ambassador and appreciator of great beards, Nate Thompson.

6. Imagery: Day-Dream of a Flyers Stanley Cup Run! It’s Fun! Realistic?…Well, who cares! Have Fun!

No, not John Lennon’s “Imagine”. IMAGERY. Just close your eyes and embark on a journey of the blissful imagination of the Flyers Power Play. “Quarterbacked by Ryan Ellis…down low to Claude Giroux, he waits…waits…holds…to Couturier…backdoor to Farabee…HE SCORESSSSSS!”. We need some Tim Saunders and Jim Jackson in our lives.

I hope this list finds you well and will get you through one last month of Flyers hockey. If it didn’t, well kick rocks because i’m bored, too. And if all else fails, GO BIRDS. WE’RE GETTING CLOSER.

IT’S COMING.

Follow me on Twitter @FlyersJohnny

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