Well this may seem odd at first, but like I’ve done in the past, things during the NHL and more specifically the Flyers offseason. I like to have some fun and let the imagination flow a little bit.
I started elaborating on these ideas when quarantine first started (additionally, when I first created my Flyers twitter account) and they seemed to be well received as people seemed to enjoy them.
So, alas. I have returned to this idea in order to take you inside the Flyers locker room.
Let’s start where I left off shall we:
Can u imagine the locker room:
G and Voracek yelling at each other across the room
Coots is looking around for his missing teeth
Hayes is singing Sweet Caroline in perfect harmony
Nolan and TK are brushing each other’s hair
Johnny Gaudreau is drinking a Sunny D in the corner
— Johnny (Flyers) Hockey (@FlyersJohnny) June 25, 2020
Yes I am still holding on to the dream of future Flyer, Johnny Gaudreau, actually joining the Philadelphia Flyers. Sue me. Actually don’t sue me, we’d only be wasting each other’s time.
Carter Hart just sitting in his stall with his headphones in. He has a slight smile as he’s dreaming about the sweet justice of black rubber fired at his dome. Probably listening to Bach, Beethoven, or Mozart because he’s better than all of us.
— Johnny (Flyers) Hockey (@FlyersJohnny) June 26, 2020
You could probably moon Carter Hart in the middle of a Chik-fil-a drive thru and the man would still keep focus enough to order his 8-nugget meal, waffle fries and side of Chik-fil-a sauce.
It's also very easy to picture TK running around the locker room trying to chase his own shadow.
— Johnny (Flyers) Hockey (@FlyersJohnny) June 25, 2020
TK is a special breed, folks. Let’s just all let him be. He’s a 20-goal scorer and an all-star.
Farabee is trying to rap into his phone to the 8 mile soundtrack. NAK tries to join in but gets boxed out.
— Johnny (Flyers) Hockey (@FlyersJohnny) June 25, 2020
Personally, I’m still rooting for Beezer’s rap career. If that 2nd line winger thing never works out, I believe that he could throw some delicious bars that the rap folk would enjoy.
Well let’s keep the party rolling:
Ivan Provorov sitting in his stall, slowly rocking back and forth. He jumps up, does a Freddie Mercury powerslide to the center of the dressing room and bangs out 6 push ups. One for every Norris Trophy he’s going to win.
Brian Elliot stands up, holds up his pocket-sized Bible, screams out “We are all God’s childr-” and he abruptly gets interrupted as Raffl lets out a thunderous clapper of an ass-ripper, Ghost takes a whiff, starts to feel light-headed and faints.
Sam Morin in his stall trying to teach Robert Hagg some French while Hagg tries to teach him Swedish. They both get frustrated and the exchange just ends in incessant hand gestures and barking noises.
Scott Laughton, sitting in the bathroom, just staring at himself in the mirror for hours with a straight face and no smile. I don’t really know but this still seems on brand. —> All hail MUHDAHFACE!
Myers and Sanheim are playing cards. Myers accuses Sanheim of cheating and throws the cards in disgust. Morgan Frost gets hit with a stray card and suffers a devastating paper-cut. Myers doesn’t want to play anymore.
Lindblom, in the midst of combing his hair approximately twenty-three times, starts to look around with a panic. It seems that no one can find JVR for the last 2 seasons. He realizes that he is the only one that can save him or at least make him productive. Pretty true.
Eh, I was bored today. Thanks for reading this far Flyers fans. We’re almost there! *Hopefully* less than a month until Flyers hockey!
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